Do you need a dating guru?

This is interesting! Read Lifestyle in Sunday Times this morning and saw this big cover story, ‘Professional Casanova’. This certainly captured my attention as I wondered, who in the right mind would confess to be one? Oh well, a further read revealed something even more intriguing. It is actually about Singapore’s dating coaches! And they coach single men on how to ‘find success with women’.

This reminded me of an article that I read a few years back about the growing business of personal grooming services that help men how to dress and present themselves. I’d actually toyed with the idea of starting something that offers such service. But this rather new service is simply way too….um…hilarious?

Maybe it’s the way the article has presented these so-called ‘gurus’. The reporter certainly shows her doubts over their effectiveness (unless I misinterpreted). Upon reading, I must say that I certainly would not be impressed by a man who wears an untied bow tie, unless he is Tay Ping Hui. Neither would I be charmed by a man who wears a black jacket over a button down white shirt to his chest, unless he is Tay Ping Hui, again. Ok, looks and presentation aside, does having nth number of successful dates with nth number of women means that the guy is an expert in relationships and hence be successful in helping others find dates successfully? Maybe I am too cynical and critical and of course, I am speaking from a biased view of a woman.

And guys, will you really pay USD 1.2k or 600+ for some 3-day boot camp on dating from gurus with really ‘mystical’ names? Ok, I am being biased here again.

Noticed from the article that these gurus seem to find more success in ‘hooking up’ with women in clubs and nightspots. Dear men, as much as you are still hurt from a previous relationships and looking for a new one, these places are not quite the right places to look for true love. And this is from my very good girl friend who frequent such places! Women go there to look for fun, not love! So, guru’s help or not, it’s not that difficult to chat with girls there.

So, what really makes a woman fall head over heels with a man? I am definitely not an expert or researcher in this area. But here’s a few things that I think might work, if you happen to have ALL of them!

1. Presentation and looks

Sorry guys. Times have changed. Women these days are placing more and more emphasis on this. We are becoming as ‘visual’ as you guys. The only difference is, we do not look for men who look as good as Tay Ping Hui or Brad Pitt. Or rather, we kind of like men who dare to dress as well as them. We are looking for presentable guys. Forget your T-shirt and bermudas. They might (chances are might not already) work for college girls but definitely, not for professional women.

2. Confident yet sensitive

We love confident men. But loathe over-confident and ego-loaded ones. We also dislike men who think the world of themselves and make us look stupid in the conversation by leaving us out. We certainly enjoy dates when the men show more interest in what we do and look impressed with what we have done. Women, too, love to have their ego boosted too.

3. Sincerity

This sounds cliche but, nothing can beat its importance. Guys, we can sniff insincerity from at least 5 metres away.

4. Romantic and thoughtfulness

Women being women, even those career driven ones, they love being doted on. Little gestures like breakfast sandwich, a stalk of rose and a kind lift home can actually send a woman to the moon.

5. Family man

If you are looking for a short term relationship, you can totally skip this. For some reason, men who cares for their own family give us a sense of security and warmth. They are often seen as responsible and caring. So, marrying such man is like buying a good life insurance. But of course, the very thing that you thought your woman love might also turn out to the be the very cause of conflict in the years to come.

6. Chemistry

Something that is too abstract to describe, really. Sometimes we just know it!

So, here you go. The 6 things that I think are the most essential characteristics that men should have. Of course, this list is based on my opinion as well as my numerous girls’ chat and talk over nice tea sessions. I won’t guarantee anything but I guess it is a pretty good checklist still.


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