WARNING! This is another whining entry? Please close this browser, if you have had enough of my whining. 🙂
FB is a terrible thing. I see many people planning for trips and to my dream destinations (like UK) and my ultimate favourite (like Japan) and me? Stuck at home for a good few months. Actually, it’s not that I cannot travel. I just cannot leave the little ones. Even if I bring the older one along, what will happen to the younger one, especially when I am bfg. Now, you can’t help to be envious of two groups of people, 1) those who have no kids and 2) those with only a toddler. I went through these 2 stages and moved on to the next in a very short time span.
Regret? Hmmm…maybe a tinge. I mull over the fact that I did not go the places I want to go to earlier when I had no kids in toll. I regret for not insisting on a longer honeymoon so that I could visit the castles in the lush land of Scotland or bask in the scholarly ambience of Cambridge or Oxford. I have not even sniff the smell of the pitch in Old Trafford (although I have stopped watching EPL for a long time). Then I feel another tinge of regret that I did not go to Japan last November. Tickets were booked and winter wear for little girl was prepared. But then, it was a blessing in disguise because little girl was down the entire holiday and I couldn’t imagine her falling sick in Nippon.
Then again, if I chose not to have kids, what will happen? I have told someone in higher authority than me this, ‘many things, including career, can wait. But certain things like having kids cannot.’ Initially I had thought that I said this to spite but I actually believe in it. Career is one path that is carved out by the individual while kids are blessings and gifts. If,whoever, feels that having kids is a stumbling block for my career, then I can only apologise as I do not believe that I need to depend on such people to do well. In fact, he/she should find ways to NOT to make it a stumbling block. Then again, countries I want to visit will still be there. It’s not as though I am not traveling, I am just traveling later. I really appreciate my parents. They have been bringing us on yearly holidays and that really opened my eyes and horizons. I visited Japan when I was 8 and i felt luckier than anyone my age for being knowing what is Mt Fuji and how it’s like at Disneyland. I saw Koala Bears and Kangaroos when I was 10 and saw the penguins at Philip Island when I was 15. In between there were more visits to Japans, HK and Taiwan. I want my girls to start seeing the world when they are young. I remember meeting a family when we were in Venice. It was a family of 3 – Daddy, mummy and a teenage girl. They were self-traveling. Spoke to the girl and she was so well-traveled. In fact, her parents proudly informed that their girl planned half of the itinerary. I realised, at that point, I want my children to be able to do that too. I believe traveling with my own kids will be another wonderful experience.
So, lamenting and 自我安慰, I shall continue but I guess I have made that choice. For the good of my girls, I shall 忍 and 省 (try lah!) and 努力. Plane, I shall take later. Now the kids come first.