A friend told me that I’d better write to feel better. So, here I am, trying to seek some form of solace.
Last few days have been a torture in contrast to the last week, which was the first week I handled meimei alone. It all started on Saturday and continued on Sunday. Her cries came back inconsolable. Pacifier has failed to pacify, instead, it agitated her more. Her cries became louder on Monday and on Tuesday. 12pm to 3pm is probably the darkest time of the day for me. It’s cries after cries and yesterday, I had to carry her and walk around the house just to make her sleep. She could barely sleep in her rocker or cot for more than half an hour and I resort to slinging her for that few hours.
My trauma came with a part 2 at night. She was fussing so much at the last feed and could not go back to sleep. Hb tried to calm her down and rock her to sleep but to no avail. Both of us were simply frustrated at the situation and with each other as couldn’t pinpoint what’s going on. So, from 10.30 pm to 2pm, we were bascially tortured by a mere 6 week-old. Finally, after all the crying. she was probably hungry and tired and she finally latched to lala land. Surprise, surprise..she slept from then till 7am!
Now on hindsight, maybe she was doing cluster feeding and was going through growth spurt as well. But then again, at that point in time, she was fussing so much at the breasts, not sure because she was full or because of the forceful letdown. Not forgetting, on Monday, doctor also diagnosed her to have reflux and bad tummy ache. So, whenever she fusses, I became totally clueless.
Yesterday, my temper certainly flared because of the sleep deprivation for the last few nights. I just hope I can keep my cool in the days to come. Will hang in here…don’t know why, something tells me it’s going to be better soon.