After a long break from blogging, here I am with my first post in weeks (or is it months) all about whines and rants. So, the same rule counts, you may close this if you do not want to read my whines.
Actually, my whines and rants are coming from all aspects of my life now. Had a sudden ‘down’ moment when I was reading fb updates. Once again the restless mind an the self-righteous-being started to act up again. As a result, I felt a strong tinge of self-pity and I worried for the girls.
First, is about my job. I find myself sending email after email to strangers, doing research and more research, in hope to secure a few appts. I really know the strength of what I’m offering but I really need to hit the right people.
Then, it’s the girls. I’m stressed to the max trying not to neglect either one. But that also means that my daytime is dedicated to them. And the working through till past midnight is tiring me out. I’m seriously concerned about lil girl’s education with the limited resources and funds. But after the make-up class at Chiltern today, I have another new perspective when it comes to education. So, it’s back to square one again.
Lastly, it’s something not within my control, people and the society. I have always lived by this philosophy, ‘there are many kind of people in this world, to be happy, we just have to accept their existence’ but honestly, it’s not easy. The idealist in me just gets disappointed over and over again. Shouldn’t the world be more beautiful as ppl become more well-learnt? Why is it turning uglier by the day? Suddenly. I feel quite disgusted.
To end of this note, just to share an incident today. Lil girl had her chair and toys snatched away by two of her classmates and a toy thrown at her, almost hitting her eye. Instead of throwing a tantrum or attempting to retaliate, little girl walked away. An amazing act by a 21 month-old but this got her mama worried — what’a going to happen when she’s older? So, am I supposed to teach her how to stand up for herself and get her to stop walking away from confrontations? I really dun know…