I’m the least qualified to write about relationships. I’m too emotional and do things too much by the heart to manage relationships objectively.
Just feel like blogging this down to remind myself and perhaps many friends around me, getting married and already married.
I’m in the wedding business. It’s a happy business, no doubt. But I come across all sorts of brides and grooms in these short 4 months. For some reason, most of the time after meeting the clients, I’m glad I married my hub. On rare occasions, I would wish my hub can adopt some other traits.
Just today, I met with 2 clients that kinda got me thinking. One was a bride who came to return her gown. Just one day after the wedding, I could feel tension between the couple. There was no smile on the faces of the newly-wed at all. Before that, I met a groom-to-be, without his fiancee who is down with the pox. Very hands-on person. He called himself the ‘groomzilla’. His wife is pretty laid back, so he had to do most of the wedding prep. We had a really good chat and I just have jot down a few things that came up during the chat that many couples always known but always forgotten.
1. Wedding is just an occasion, it’s the marriage that matters. THIS is one of the first advices, a good friend of mine gave me. But I think this friend forgot to tell me that managing a marriage is one big problem that has no ten-year series.
2. Devotion to your choice companion should be maintained not reduced. An example that came up from the conversation was shopping. During dating days, the men always made an effort to tag along the gfs’ shopping. But after the wedding, the hubs always leave the wife to shop on her own while he chill somewhere or run errands. Why the difference? Hmmm…
3. Doting is two-way. One can’t expect just the hub to dote on the wife. It shld be vice versa. 老婆是娶来疼的；老公是嫁来爱的.
Having said all these, I’m still a student struggling in this module called relationship. Oh well, I’m not expecting a distinction, I think I’ll be happy if I can get a pass.