2014…you are fast!

That cuppa iced hazelnut mousse with espresso shot from De Conti is certainly doing its job in ensuring that I DO NOT SLEEP. After doing a little bit of work, then 2 episodes of Criminal Minds S9, I am now blogging. W.O.W.

Funny how the idea of ‘year is coming to an end’ can really get one all jittery and reflective. Jittery because one realised the need to complete some stuffs. For example, clear that stack of receipts in terms of recording in that excel sheet and back-up photos from your phone. Reflective because one realised the importance of looking back and be dismayed at what was not done.

Interesting that this time round, I am feeling, for the first time, NOT reflective. Age, perhaps, is the reason why I kinda feel that 31 December is going to be just another day or maybe it’s because,  very reluctantly, I got to meet client ON THAT DAY.

I was just reading my post last year on the same topic. It got me a little depressed.

La Mariee is stable but I did not see it going farther than I intended to. First half of the year, it was still on track. But that misfortune with the second helper totally derailed everything. I had to cut down my appointments so that I can tend to the kids and the household chores more, though the latter is still sorely neglected. To make matter a little bit wore, I had to deal with a few difficult clients that kinda resulted in some monetary loss so that I can make them H.A.P.P.Y. unfortunately, dealing with them make me doubt whatever I am doing. So, I slowed down even more in my work in the last few months of the year. Only recently, in fact only today, I have found that bit of motivation to plan for the next year. I know one of the top things I got to deal with when it comes to La Mariee is C.O.S.T.

At the  home end, it seems stagnant. I said last year that ‘ …I tried to work hard. BUT I need to work harder’. I guess I did not work hard enough. Somehow, I feel work was neglected, home was also neglected. I really wish I could give the girls more and be more understanding to the Mr.

Personal front. Disastrous. ‘Restraint and Patience’ was my motto for the year. Clearly, I threw both out of the window second half of the year after that maid left. I couldn’t restrain my words, my actions and my anger. I am not patient with people especially my loved ones. I became angry, easily. I couldn’t really pin point what went wrong until just now. I think I cannot handle so many at one time. Also, I think I am getting worried about expectations – my own and others. As a result, I needed to vent and hence, that lack of restraint and patience. So, I complain even more now.

Looking forward, I am in between loss and a little bit of hope. Right now, I am trying hard to pull out every single strain of positivity from my brain and heart and for the first time, it’s actually so much easier to be negative. Mentally, I am quite tired. Not doing anything may look like I am a sloth. But mentally it has been working and working and working. And I realize it has something to do with that constant gazing at the phone.

So, having said all the above, which I hope is making sense, 2014 I want to be a little more back to basics. Time to me has always been precious. It’s high time to divert the time spent on social media to elsewhere. I know I am a social media addict. I derive my news updates from fb, I stay connected with friends over social media especially since my work kinda isolates me quite a bit. Getting offline will kill me but posting only the positive and funny stuffs won’t. I got to spend lesser time online and if I am online, I only want read, see, and post happy things.

2014 is also a year that I need to be more task-oriented. Practicality has to set in. Action is still louder than words.

Lastly, my mission statement for 2014? I THINK I JUST WANT TO BE H.A.P.P.Y. Sounds like an easy mission but in this current state of mind, it’s not that easy. Happiness comes in all forms, as what the wise people say. I shall see…I shall see….

PS: How can I leave weight loss out of this post? I am just 4-5 kg off my target. But then again, this has been the case for the past 5 months. GOT TO WORK HARDER.

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