~BBK’s Diary~ Mama, is today a good day?

Miss Kay asks this question in the subject almost everyday and usually more than once. It’s her way of ensuring that we are happy with her and her behavior. Being the opportunistic parents, we often use this question to get her to stop her tantrums because we kinda inculcate in her the idea that if she’s happy, it’s a good day. So it’s has been working great because at a tender age of 4 plus 5 months, she is a rather sensitive and sensible girl.

This morning, being a Monday after a fun-filled weekend, she had the blues really bad. Extremely lethargic and reluctant to get out of bed and house for school. Being the short fuse, the girls got it quite bad from me. So, the worst came when I realized that miss Kay forgot her school bag after we were all buckled up in the car. Being maid-less for the longest time, I could no longer make a call to ask the helper to bring the bag down (on most days, miss Kay would take care of her own belongings but today was just not the day). So imagine the frustration. Poor girl received a good scolding from me and I got to unbuckle everyone just to go upstairs to get the bag. Being a terribly acid-mouth mommy, I did the horrible thing of threatening them that they will not go melbourne with us and other terrible things that I wished I did not say.

The car ride to school was tense. Meimei attempted to talk to me in the dead silent ride. She said ‘mommy, I want to talk to you’ — heart pain and teary for me, but I kept quiet.

When we reached school, meimei was back to normal, all happy. But miss Kay was sobbing away and she refused to go into classroom. I felt really bad that I got her so affected. So I pulled her aside to speak to her. There she was all teary but controlling not to wail out loud. So, I started to talk to her with promises of treats and snacks after school. But nothing worked until I asked her this ‘do you want today to be a good day?’ Her response really made my heart churn upside down, inside out. Using her hands to wipe the tears away, ‘I want to take the crying away’ and she slowly walked to the classroom and with the help of the teacher, she took tissues to wipe her tears away.

Now, I really want to kick myself for being such an a**… What’s even worse is I have work today and I don’t want to work because I want to spend time with her the whole day to really make myself less guilty.


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